1. Be ready!
Sex is an emotional activity in addition to being a fully natural bodily action. Nerves can take control, whether they are in you or your spouse, and it’s natural to feel a little overwhelmed.
If you’re nervous, take a moment to consider whether this is what you want right now, whether you don’t feel rushed, and whether you’re with someone you can trust.
You may have a lot of expectations when it comes to sex, but let’s face it: it rarely lives up to the hype on the first try. It could be difficult to figure out where everything goes, it might sting a little, and it might even end before you realize it!
While feeling emotionally prepared is important, being protected will set your mind at ease and boost your enjoyment. In addition to using condoms to avoid sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy, some water-based lubrication will make things go a little more easily.
Condoms are covered in detail in our condom section.
Nothing is more pleasurable than ensuring that both partners want to have sex.
Continue to communicate with your spouse, telling them how you’re feeling and what’s working and what isn’t. It’s fine to alter your mind, and if one of you feels uneasy at any point, take a break and try again when you’re both ready.
Remember that if one partner is inebriated or under duress, this does not constitute “consent.” The best course of action is to communicate. Along the way, ask each other how you’re feeling, and this is a simple one to check off the list of ways to enjoy sex.
3. Understand the many types of sex.
Isn’t it true that sex is sex? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no To various people, sex can mean different things, and there are a few different methods to ‘have sex.’
Oral sex, for example, is when you lick and suck the other person’s genitalia using your mouth. When the penis enters the vagina, it is referred to as virginal sex, and when the penis enters the anus, it is referred to as anal sex. However, most people refer to vaginal or anal intercourse when they say they’ve had sex for the first time.
While the mechanics of these may differ, the lead-up isn’t (don’t worry, further information on this may be found in the next point).
If you decide to use condoms for the first time, keep in mind that they are the only way to completely protect yourself against HIV, STIs, and unplanned pregnancy.
Anything that helps you and your partner get appropriately ‘turned on’ before you have penetrative sex is considered foreplay. Kiss, feel, lick, and stimulate your partner as much as you can to get a sense of it and be ready for the next phase.
This also simplifies the mechanics of sex. When a man is turned on, his penis should be erect so that it may enter the anus or vagina more readily, depending on the form of sex you’re having. When women are ‘wet’ down there, the natural fluid functions as a natural lubricant, allowing the penis to move inside more readily.
Also, a nice little secret: orgasm (cum) does not require sex! Many people never get to penetrative sex because they are having too much fun.
5. Communicate to each other
It’s supposed to be enjoyable to engage in sexual activity. Maintaining communication with your partner is one method to ensure this occurs.
Certain things may not seem right, and you may wish for them to slow down or stop. Other things could feel great, and you’d like your spouse to keep doing them! You may enjoy it slow or quick when your lover touches you in a specific region, but how will they know unless you tell them?
Use physical cues such as moaning softly, smiling knowingly, or whispering in their ear. You might also simply say, “Yes, please give me more of that!”
We hope you understand what we mean. Your spouse will almost always enjoy the fact that they are turning you on in some way, and it will make them want to turn you on even more. So tell them how you’re feeling and ask them to tell you how they’re feeling as well.
Whether you’re having sex for the first time or the hundredth, you can want something different each time, and chatting is the greatest way to express that!